#LovingTheSameBook – DavidsBookClub, January 2020

The most appropriate time to reflect on what you did and did not do during the year is in your moments of peace, when you have a relaxed state of mind. In case you are wondering how to get into such a state, here is the solution I practice … Beyond the hot tea with apple and cinnamon aroma and the blanket for December, I need another ingredient: a good book .

An interesting thing that I noticed over time is that after a few pages, I am in a good mood. I feel like my thoughts and feelings are more positive, more relaxed and easier. In addition, I know from the findings of many researches that reading is beneficial both for memory, attention, concentration, but also for reducing depression and the negative effects of stress. When we read, there are some transformations in our inner world, which lead to the metamorphosis of the whole being. Here are some of them:

Reading reduces anxiety, removes ruminations, fades (at least temporarily) daily worries and dissolves stress. The explanation is that a good book robs you and takes you into its world, making you forget about your world.
Reading improves the level of cognitive intelligence and, above all, the speed of making correlations between thoughts, attitudes, events, facts. Isn’t this one of the qualities that society (and work) value so much in people?
Regular reading makes us not only smarter, but also more resilient – in time and space. As sport is vital to the cardiovascular system, reading is the best workout for the brain.
Reading is a cornerstone for building self-esteem. According to research, people who read feel more intelligent and consider themselves more valuable.
Reading enhances imagination and creativity. When we allow ourselves the story of a book, we have access to our inner resources asleep or wandering in the memory box.
Reading is a fascinating means of identifying problem-solving strategies. No, it does not always mean that a book will suggest concrete solutions to the specific difficulties in your life. But it will make you confident in your own strengths and will change your attitude towards troubles.
Reading favors the cultivation of relational intelligence. Because… what else is reading, if not a dialogue between your mind and the author’s mind, between your soul and the author’s soul?
Reading generates the most innocent stories. Developing a reading routine is a signal to the body that it’s time to slow down its engines. Reading printed books is much more beneficial in this case than reading virtual volumes – which, due to electronic support, can overload and shake the brain.
Bonus after balance: Reading is the best natural sleeping pill, regardless of age, gender, financial situation and intellectual level. And he is the only one who has no negative side effects. In addition, one is to fall asleep after your partner, mother-in-law or neighbors’ music has hysterized you, another is the quality of sleep after a book has made you aware.
Now that I’ve seen why the mind works better after its daily reading portion, it remains to tell you what books I selected for this month of balance. And because it is a period with many activities, events and administrative tasks, we chose three books that are not very bulky, but with a deep and generous content.

This month’s first proposal for #DAVID’s Book Club is Space Between Us, the latest book written by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. I do not know if I have ever met two people more connected than the two psychologists (who form a couple in real life). After their visit a few years ago in Romania, they became a model for me. This book is a guide to put our mind and heart to work. Because they wrote it in a funny, pragmatic and friendly style, after each chapter you come to say, “Come on, it’s not that hard!” This book is just right for a couple balance! I would love to know what you thought of me, but until then I leave you with a quote from the book: “God chose a being from this world and gave you the task to love him, help him to help himself heal and support it in its evolution. Your partner longs to feel that you are the one who holds his or her share, when everyone else goes away. “

Still thinking…

The second proposal is a book more than the month when we all try to be more human and more generous. The Dance of Fear: Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self  is one of Harriet Lerner’s volumes, one of Brené Brown’s sources of inspiration). This volume changes your perspective on the word “forgiveness”. There are few books in psychology about what it means in the most concrete way to express your apologies. And this volume will guide you to an important lesson: how to repair relational damage. Here’s what the author tells us: “The courage to ask for forgiveness, as well as the wisdom and clarity to do so with wisdom and skill, is at the very basis of leadership, couple, parenting and friendship relationships; in addition, it also bases personal integrity as well as what we call “love”. It is hard to imagine that there is anything more important than that. ”

Intimacy and Other Stories, by Hanif Kureishi, is the third recommendation for reading. I discovered the author of British-Pakistani origin thanks to Aurora Liiceanu. I read a passage from his writings and he conquered my mind without realizing it. Then, as with all the authors I love, I sought to see everything he wrote and listen to as many interviews with him on YouTube. And for our reading club I chose this book of literature, which the chronicles write is the best of his writings. The volume presents the psychological turmoil of the man on the verge of making changes in the dynamics of intimacy: “I am ashamed of her. But the truth is, I can’t entertain or arouse it. And yet, of all the possible people in the world, we chose each other. For what? For a serious and difficult task: to frustrate and punish each other. But why?”

And after you have your annual balance (possibly even the couple balance), share the joy of reading with us all, showing that you are part of our online community. I invite you to use, in social media posts, #LovingTheSameBook. Don’t forget to immortalize yourself with your favorite book, no matter what month it was recommended, with #DavidsBookClub in the post. Because we want to show everyone that we are book lovers.

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